The Inherent, but Unforgiving Search for Purpose
(Still a work in progress)
One of life’s greatest struggles in the modern age is finding purpose. One reason why I feel, even though I am not a believer in any religion, religion, on a personal level, is one of the greatest things a person can have. You have this belief that your actions are being driven towards some sort of end goal, whether that be finding your place in the heavens, improving your karma to find Nirvana and end the cycle of life and death Buddhists call samsara, or any other belief you may have about what happens after your death, people generally have an objective to work towards. But what happens when you don’t have that objective for your end goal in life? Where does one find their ultimate pleasures and formulate their ideals of how the world should work?
If you consider the beliefs of the Nihilists, you would say that life is ultimately meaningless, and that you may as well do whatever makes you happy, regardless of the moral implications. I mean, anyone who would judge you for those actions are in this mortal realm, and their opinion of you objectively matters less than yours does in this cynical worldview. Take Luzhin from Crime and Punishment as a prime example of someone who exerts this worldview, and takes and takes with no repercussions to his own moral being, as he does right by his own hand alone. His primary motive in the book is to find an intelligent, beautiful, but poor girl to marry, so he can be viewed as morally superior, and the girl he marries would be eternally indebted to him due to his “rescuing” of her. His entire motivation is rooted in his own twisted desires, and it being left unchecked by both any sort of empathy he may have himself, or any spiritual/religious belief that would carry him to a more righteous mindset. I should mention that when he realized he wasn’t loved, Luzhin decided to end his own life, realizing its emptiness. This is not a path one should follow. The primary view of Nihilists then is that you don’t need purpose, just do what you wish in the moment and you can be happy.
If you are not an inherently selfish person, but you cannot fathom the idea of any religious beliefs to be a guiding principle, where does that leave you though? I genuinely believe this age of wealth and security that is found in the west, along with the idealizations of being “self-sufficient”, have made it so many people get stuck in a limbo where they want to do well, but have no driving force in doing so. Survival used to be a tool that fed this desire to do better fiscally, so you could have food on the table, but at this general point in the human cycle, food is hardly a scarce commodity, and living as a whole is pretty easy to do with very, very little money. It wouldn’t be the best life by any means, but the means to live are no longer a struggle that is prominent in most people, it has become the means to live with luxuries. But, the issue then comes back to the lack of selfishness, what happens when you don’t particularly care for your own well being (as long as you are alive), but you don’t have anyone who relies on you? What motivates this person to climb and improve their life?
I do not have an answer for this question, but this is where my current life is at, and I do have theories. My first idea is that these currently motiveless people try to picture their future life and imagine who in their future would need them, whether it be a kid, a spouse, or even their parents. The primary issue with most of these, is that the idea seems so far away, it is hard to use as a long term objective. You can think in a moment about how “I’m gonna improve my life so my future kids can have this, or that,” but, when you face the hurdles of this improvement, you can’t always keep this long term idea in your head, especially if it is seen as an infeasibility in most regards. I personally really want to have a daughter. However, I am heavily under the belief that I will be single forever, and while I have no quarrels with adoption as a whole, I also am under the belief that I, a single straight man, will not be taken seriously for adoption and will be scrutinized under the most powerful microscope to determine whether they are valid for adoption. It’s a slightly irrational fear, but with every action I’ve taken to improve my life, there has been some sort of issue that came up, some within my control, most outside of it, that completely shot back down any attempts I made and convinced me life is not worth putting effort into. It has been instilled in me that life will always shoot me back down if I try to do anything good for myself. So it can be seen why this motiveless journey, with attempts to improve my life, can seem so fruitless at times and can make it clear effort is not worth it, even though consciously we know that isn’t the case.
Another idea I have on what can motivate pretty heavily is the environment around you. If your friends do well and have their life together, it slowly becomes normalized in your head that having your life together is the normal thing. The opposite can also be true, where you have friends who also can’t piece together any parts of their lives, so it becomes instilled in your head that nobody can put together any pieces and it’s worthless to try. Where one grows up, not in terms of location, but household appearances, can also play a huge factor. Growing up normalized under the idea of your family being functional and healthy can make a big difference in how you strive to make your life. If you grow up somewhere that is perceived as dysfunctional, you will inherently accept that as viable for your current state, and that will keep you frozen in a worse life. So, as a parent, we should still strive to lead by example for the life we want our kids to have. Cut out that toxic “do as I say, not as I do” bullshit, it only hinders trust and showcases a perception of narcissism that your kids will pick up on and grow resentment towards. That is besides the main point of the article, but this is my website, and this issue irks me, so I’m gonna mention it. More will follow in the future on this concern I imagine.
Ultimately, it comes down to the individual person to find what their inherent self imposed “purpose” is. Some people fully know and have known since they were 10 what their purpose in life is. Many were not so lucky, and it is important we don’t disregard any such people, or treat those who seem aimless as lesser than those who figured out what they want. I do fear many people don’t even take the time to ask themselves what drives them. As someone who overthinks ever action I take, the necessity for purpose is what takes up a majority of my mental capabilities.
Dylan Pohovey